It's not your role to make others happy; it IS your role to keep yourself in balance. When you pay attention to how you feel and practice self-empowering thoughts that align with who-you-realy-are, you will offer an example of thriving that will be of tremendous value to those who have the benefit of observing you.
You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive or sick enough to help sick people get well. You only ever uplift from your position of strength and clarity and alignment.
Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters by Portia Nelson
Chapter 1
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend that I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in this same place. But, it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in . it's a habit . but, my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
Most of us understand that when we judge someone, or someone judges us, it is a negative emotional experience. As a result, we naturally want to avoid being judgmental, but this gets confusing when we feel we have to suppress thoughts that could actually be offering us guidance.
For example, we may meet someone new and suppress a negative feeling about them, thinking that we don’t want to fall into the trap of being judgmental. Later, though, it may turn out that paying attention to that thought could have helped us take care of ourselves or someone else.
It is important to learn to distinguish inner guidance, and having an opinion, from judgment, otherwise we run the risk of not listening to our intuition. Inner guidance and opinions both help us to interact more intelligently in the world, so we don’t want to throw them out in an effort to avoid being judgmental.
Our intuition usually makes itself known to us in a flash, and often has a physical component—a flutter in our stomachs, sweaty palms, or a chill. When we use this information to help us navigate a situation, we always benefit. Similarly, having an opinion about a person or an idea allows us to converse about it in a focused way with intention. Listening to our intuition and forming opinions are both positive outcomes of our ability to interpret the information that comes our way.
When we make a judgment, we attempt to have a final say on whether someone or something is inherently good or bad. Judgments close us down instead of opening us up; opinions have a lighter quality and are amenable to change.
Once a judgment has been made, there is no more conversation or consideration, whereas opinions invite further debate. Intuition guides us from moment to moment, but, unlike judgment, never makes a final decree. In other words, it is only healthy to be open to the information we receive and to allow ourselves to process that information.
Sometimes you can make life much more difficult by attempting to make it too easy. Sometimes the shortcuts you seek end up being a lot more trouble than they're worth.
Often, in trying to avoid work, you can create even more work for yourself. Often, in seeking to avoid an unpleasant or inconvenient truth, you give even more power, influence and recognition to that truth. Taking the easy way out is rarely that easy.
For when you avoid the effort and commitment in life, you end up missing out on the real value. The more willingly, lovingly and enthusiastically you makethe effort, the more value that effort will bring. The more time you commit to making a difference, the more magnificent your world will be. Instead of looking for ways to avoid work, look for ways to make that work more productive and more meaningful. Instead of seeking to hide from the truth, learn to align yourself with its power.
Be always anxious to give your best to life. For the life you create is the life you will live. (Ralph Marston)
Have you noticed how all these quotes keep saying the same thing, but in a different way? I interpret this one as a call to consciousness, and to being an active participant in our life.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 C orinthians 13:4-6)
Though I sometimes bristle when someone quotes the bible to me, I believe this is one of the most definite statements on love. Love is patient; fear is impatient. Love is not self-seeking.. there are no conditions placed on love as in "I love you because". I believe we and our world are troubled because we have lost love, and that if our own lives and that of others is to change for the better, we must replace fear with love. It must begin with each of us.We must start over.
There are four questions of value in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love. (Don Juan deMarco)
Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. (Carl Jung) When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace. (The Dailai Lama)
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. (Rumi)
It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers. The more solitary I am the more affection I have for them.....Solitude and silence teach me to love my brothers for what they are, not for what they say. (Thomas Merton) Love cures all people....both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. (Karl Menninger)
The idea of "living on purpose" is a new one. We used to believe that keeping a good job and having a nice family was purpose enough....at least that was our public face no matter what we may have yearned for privately.
Now it's not only acceptable but laudable to know what one's purpose is. Some people even believe they can't be happy without clearly knowing and following their purpose. But, there are so many choices! How to find the right one? I, for one, have always wanted to color with all the crayons in the box at once. Why choose only one?
What if our thinking is wrong? What if instead of constantly seeking "our purpose" we just live life to the very best of our ability as we find it, and make our purpose LOVE? I propose that this would be living to the highest purpose of all.
