Happy Every Day

Much has been written about living each day fully...or living it as if it were the last.  I don't know why this is so difficult to really "get", but it is.  Not only do we spend a lot of meaningless time, but also wish a lot of it would pass...as in, "I can't wait until the week-end".  What about the days between right now and the week-end?

 What would you die for?  Because the truth is sooner or later we all are going to die, and you are moving toward that one day at a time.  The way you spend each day of the time you have is what you are willing to die for.  Are you happy with each day you spend?  Are you satisfied?  Delighted?   Do you wake in the morning anticipating the day ahead with relish and glee?  Do you go to bed at night satisfied with the steps you’ve made and grateful for what you are dying for?

We all flounder at times....forgetting how to make ourselves happy.  Yes, we are responsible for this, not other people.  I hope you find the following video as helpful as I do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK2RDuua54E&NR=1

No Need to Suffer

Don't take anything personally. Nothings others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. (Don Miguel Ruiz, from the book, The Four Agreements)

This one is a bit of a challenge, as we tread a fine line between respecting people by taking them seriously and respecting ourselves by clearly knowing that they are merely expressing their own reality, not ours.  It takes practice!  But every time you succeed, even just a little, you have added to your own serenity and happiness. 

Law of Attraction

For those of you who insist on "scientific" proof, the "Law of Attraction" may seem a bit far-fetched.:-)  Since it is a way in which to shape your life to what you want, why not put this law into practice?  You will be amazed at the results!

Complaining about anything, holds you in the place of refusing to receive the things you've been asking for. Justifying about anything holds you in the place of refusing to let in the very things that you've been asking for. Blaming someone, holds you in the place of refusing to let in the things that you've been asking for. Feeling guilty, feeling angry, it doesn't matter what you call it, it is a refusal, not a conscious one. You're asking; you can't help but ask. The Universe is yielding; it must yield. It's a big question, folks: why aren't you letting it in?***Abraham***

Happy New Year!

Most of us live by a set of rules taught by parents, teachers, and friends...rules which we have internalized, programs, really, which run silently in the background. If we could hear all those "rules" out loud, we would be astonished by that bossy voice!

Some of us go through life obediently doing out best to follow the rules, perhaps not even realizing that we are not behaving of our own volition...while others spend a lifetime rebelling against them.

What becoming "present" really means is achieving full awareness of that part of us which is really US, and becoming free to do what we really desire. Until we reach that stage, we can lift much of the burden of all these "shoulds" by being gentle with ourselves.  

I very much like what Ian Paul Marshall says about New Year's resolutions:

"As we begin the new year let's make it a time where we finally decide to ignore all the "should's" in our lives. Let's let go of resolutions and let's develop resolve. A fortitude to forgive ourselves for all our self-criticisms. A determination to develop a deeper wellspring of joy and happiness. And a courage to boldly bring into existence the dreams that silently sleep within our hearts."

May we see the perfection in every outcome and be able to give thanks, for then every day will be a happy one!

Desirata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

--- Max Ehrmann, 1927

 

Speak Up!

There is a balance to be struck in close relationships, between accepting the other person as they are and instructing them on how you are to be treated.  It is important to forgive little lapses in attention and thoughtfulness, but at the same time, you should also make it clear that you are worth attention, that you expect thoughtfulness and that you are deeply worthy of love. Do not walk through life bruised and wounded, taking each little thing to heart, always injured and hurt by the slightest thing. People are far too distracted and most social oversights and slights are really just their responses to anxiety and pressure.  In these times, you must teach them how to act.

 

Today observe yourself as you relate to other people and compare what you say and do outwardly to how you feel inwardly. And this is particularly important in your relationships that are difficult or in which you feel slighted, in relationships of some importance to you.

If you find yourself dismissing and then yearning, you should become aware of this and then correct it. If you say, "That's all right, go ahead without me," and then feel hurt when you are taken up on this offer, you must take responsibility for this. How much better to actually ask for what you want, to say, "Would you mind waiting a moment for me?" This gives the other person the opportunity to know what consideration you would truly like. It instructs them on how to treat you and gives them the chance to actually treat you in well. Do not blame others if they are unable to read your mind and instead respond to your words and your manner. 

Are you bowing your head and withdrawing when you might be lifting your chin and stating what it is that you want? Are you walking around feeling bruised and injured, even though you have not expressed to anyone what it is that you want and need? Aren't these old habits left over from a powerless childhood?  They are not serving you now, are they?

An Acronym for Feeling Good

From Ian Paul Marshall comes the following advice about feeling good:

B.E.T.T.E.R.
Be grateful for what you have
Enjoy this present moment
Touch base with someone you love
Turn within and enjoy the silence
Experience something new
Realize that you are loved always

For the most part, getting happy is an inside job.  If you observe others very carefully, you will see that happy people may or may not have material success. Some of the wealthiest, and most gifted people are discontent, while some of the poorest glow with peace. 

Consider making a "feel good" journal for yourself.  Write it full of quotes which uplift your spirits, and paste in happy images.  Make this your "Go To" when you need a little inside nudge.