In business, Pfeffer and Sutton report, managers who try to lead through fear cause paralysis more often than action. This is just as true when we're managing our own lives. Think of an area where you're trying to scare yourself into action. Right now, focus on your favorite fear-based admonitions:
"I've got to stop spending so much on shoes and save more for retirement or I'll end up a bag lady. A bag lady with a lot of shoes, but still..."
"I've got to stop eating junk or I'll end up the size of an off-road vehicle and no one will ever love me and I'll die of a heart attack before I ever see grandchildren!"
Now, while thinking those things, just notice: With fear ruling your mind, do you want to add to your savings or hit the mall? Do you crave broccoli or fries?
Of course you do.
Trying to motivate yourself with fear is like screaming at a child, "Do something, dammit!" You'll either freeze up or act in counterproductive ways. Fear widens the knowing-doing gap. Don't use it.
It seems so simple, but I've seen this strategy work over and over. When people stop scaring themselves and start calming themselves, they become far more productive and successful in every aspect of their lives. Try it right now, so you can use it the next time you're scared. Silently tell yourself simple things like "It's okay." "You're all right." "There's no rush." "You can do this." You'll be amazed at the power of this humble mental-management technique to help you turn knowledge into action.
Martha Beck
