21 Ways to Stay in the Peace

The following are simple, yet powerful practices from Byron Katie that offer new ways of looking at life circumstances, and in that, create new
possibilities for making choices that will bring you into greater alignment with the best in you.

1. Reversing your HASTY Judgments

Practice noticing when you judge or criticize someone or something. For example, in a grocery store line, you might be impatient and think the person in front of you is disorganized and rude. Quickly turn your judgment around and ask yourself: "Is it just as true about me? Am I rude? (Am I rude sometimes; to others - or to myself?) Am I being rude inside of me when I think they are rude?"

This exercise takes your attention off the "other" and places your attention on you. Forgiveness naturally results. Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility
for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.

Remember, beyond the appearance of who it is you are looking at, it is always God disguised, standing in front of you so that you can know yourself. Reversing judgments allows complete forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to awareness of one's self, and reestablishes personal integrity.

2. The Three Kinds of Business

Notice when you hurt that you are mentally out of your business. If you're not sure, stop and ask, "Mentally, whose business am I in?"

There are only three kinds of business in the universe, mine, yours, and God's. Simple! Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God's business. Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor's business. Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because they have an ugly lawn? Your business.

Life is simple, it is internal. So, count, in five minute intervals, how many times you are in someone else's business mentally. Notice when you give uninvited advice or offer your opinion about something (aloud or silently). Ask yourself: "Am I in their business? Did they ask me for my advice?" And more importantly, "Can I take the advice I am offering and apply it to my life?"

3. Being in Nobody's Business

After working with the practice of staying out of others' business, try to stay out of your own business as well. Hold lightly whatever you think you know about yourself. "I am contained within this physical body. Is it really true? Can I really know that it's true? What do I get by holding that belief?" There is a widespread belief that we are our bodies, and we will die. "Who would I be without the belief?"

4. "Detaching" from Your Body/Your Story

Try speaking about yourself, for a period of time, in third person, rather than as I or me. Instead of saying, "I'm going to lunch", say "She's going to lunch", referring to yourself), or "This one is going to lunch." Do this with a friend for an hour, the afternoon, or the entire day. Eliminate the use of all personal pronouns (I, me, we). Refer to yourself and the other in third person. For example, "How is that one (or this one) today? Does he want to go to the park?" Experience impersonally the body, the stories and the preferences which you think you are.

5. Speaking in the Present Tense

Become mindful of how often your conversations focus on the past or future. Be aware of the verbs you use: was, did, will, are going to, etc. To speak of the past in the present is to reawaken and recreate it fully in the present, if only in our minds, and then we are lost to what is present for us now. To speak of the future is to create and live with what is but a fantasy in our minds. If you want to experience fear, think of the future. If you want to experience shame and guilt, think of the past.

6. Doing the Dishes

"Doing the dishes" is a practice of learning to love the action that is in front of you. Your inner voice or intuition guides you all day long to do simple things such as doing the dishes, driving to work or sweeping the floor. Allow the sanctity of simplicity. Listening to your inner voice and then acting on its suggestions with implicit trust creates a life that is more graceful, effortless and miraculous.

7. Listening to the Voice of the Body

The body is the voice of your mind, and it speaks to you in physical movement as muscular contractions - as twitches, twinges, tickles and tension, just to name a few. Become aware of how often you move away from peace or stillness. Practice stillness and let your body speak to you of where your mind contracts, no matter how subtle the flickering contraction may be. When you notice a sensation, inquire within, "What situation or contracted thought is triggering this physical
sensation? Am I out of alignment with my integrity in this circumstance, and if so, where? Am I willing to let go of this belief or thought that causes my body to contract?" Listen and allow the answers to guide you, and return to the peace and clarity within. (continued)

It Isn't New

'If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due
to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have
the power to revoke at any moment.'
- Marcus Aurelius

Nothing I post is new. I am constantly surprised and amazed just how far back our supposedly current ideas go. :-) We humans are slow learners.

Don't Tell It Like It Is!

We practice the Art of Allowing. Which means reaching for the thought that feels best, not the thought that is the real thought, not the thought that is telling it like it is.

Telling it like it is only holds you where it is: "Damn it, I'm going to tell it like it is. I'm going to tell it like it is, because everybody wants me to tell it like it is." Tell it like it is if you like it like it is.

But if you don't like it like it is, then don't tell it like it is--tell it like you want it to be. If you tell it like you want it to be, long enough, you will begin to feel it like you want it to be, and when you feel it like you want it to be, it be's like you want it to be. ~~Abraham-Hicks

This is a version of seeing and describing the glass as half full. Supposing it had been drizzling rain on the day I photographed the above irises. When remembering the day or describing it to others, I could have remembered being damp, the humidity or concern over my camera. Or I could have delighted in the very happy looking flowers I saw and had the opportunity to photograph on a softly lit overcast day.

This takes much practice...or at least it has for me because I have spent most of my life "telling it as it is" ...but it's so worth it!

You Are Stronger Than You Believe

Our capacity to cope successfully with life's challenges far outstrips our capacity to feel nervousness. Yet in the time leading up to an event that we believe will test our limits, we often feel extremely anxious and stressed.

We are almost always stronger and more capable than we believe ourselves to be. Anxiety does not abate with reasoning out, so if you can't "turn it over", engage your mind with other things to take the focus off what is producing the anxiety.

When we concentrate on something unrelated to our worry—such as deep breathing, visualizations of success, pleasurable pursuits, or exercise—anxiety dissipates naturally. Meditation is also a useful coping mechanism as it provides us with a means to ground ourselves in the moment.
(Based on the Daily OM)

It's important to give yourself full credit for your accomplishments, especially those which you most feared. You may never lose feeling anxiety or the flight or fight response, but by recognizing the strong person that you really are, each thing which you see as a hurdle will become easier.

No Guilt!

It is not your role to make others happy; it is your role to keep yourself in balance.

When you pay attention to how you feel and practice self-empowering thoughts that align with who-you-really-are, you will offer an example of thriving that will be of tremendous value to those who have the benefit of observing you.

You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive or sick enough to help sick people get well. You only ever uplift from your position of strength and clarity and alignment.

*****

This is one of my most favorite quotes from Abraham-Hicks. Can you imagine how light someone raised with this belief would be? What if parents did not try to control their children by telling them what they did was the cause of the parents' emotions?

Don't give others control over how you feel. Don't believe others if they tell you that you are responsible for their feelings. Free yourself from guilt.

Allow Well-Being

We would like you to release the word "achieve" or "earn" from your vocabulary and from your understanding, altogether, and we would like you to replace those words with the word "allow".

You're wanting to allow your Well-being, not achieve it. It's not something that you need to earn. All you have to do is decide what it is you would like to experience, and then allow it in order to achieve it. It isn't something you have to struggle for or try for.

**Abraham-Hicks**

Allow Feeling

Sitting with our feelings is the best thing we can do for ourselves rather than stuffing them deep inside.

It can take great courage to really sit with our feelings, allowing ourselves to surrender to their powerful energies. All too often we set our feelings aside, thinking we will deal with them later. If we don’t deal with them, we end up storing them in our minds and bodies and this is when anxiety and other health issues can arise. Denying what our bodies want to feel can lead to trouble now or down the line, which is why being in the thick of our feelings, no matter how scary it seems, is really the best thing we can do for ourselves. One of the reasons we tend to hide or push aside our feelings is that we live in a culture that has not traditionally supported emotional awareness. However, as the connection between mind and body--our emotions and our physical health-- becomes clearer, awareness of the importance of feeling our feelings has grown.

When we simply allow ourselves to fully feel our feelings as they come, we tend to let them go easily. This is all we are required to do; our feelings simply want to be felt. No need for analyzing them! (The Daily OM)
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I used to believe that to be productive as well as sane, emotions like grief, anger, betrayal, and fear...to name just a few....had to be overcome, and quickly. Such strong feelings of hot pain could only hurt me, I thought. It's taken me a very long time to get to believing that the real harm is in suppressing it all! Now, I work at allowing, and I teach others the same. There is much comfort as well as power in allowing. It spells accepting and loving all of ourselves.