Question: I have been told that I am a judgmental person and I agree with that. Since becoming aware I have been working on that and my ego everyday. What are your thoughts on being judgmental and is it really possible to not judge anyone or any decision ever?
Answer: You are not a judgmental person. Your mind does what it has been conditioned to do, that’s all. The most important thing is that you are already aware of what your mind is doing. A truly judgmental person is someone who doesn’t know he/she is judgmental. They are so identified with their mind that they completely believe in every thought (judgment) that comes into their head.
Awareness is the key. Most judgmental thoughts are of a negative kind, of course. So notice as much as you can your negative thoughts (about other people, individuals or groups, yourself, a place, a situation you find yourself in, something that is happening but “shouldn’t” etc.) Notice the mind’s tendency to find fault with people and situations, to complain, to pronounce righteous judgment.
Gradually, the dimension of awareness will grow and those mental habits will weaken. Negativity is a dreadful burden to live with. It tends to be reflected back to you through negative situations and people and prevents your life from unfolding with ease. But don’t try to suppress your judgments. Have compassion with your mind. A judgment is harmless if you immediately recognize it as such and don’t completely believe in it anymore. Then, gradually, awareness dissolves the judgmental mind.
Yes, it is possible to live without judgment. Becoming friendly with the present moment is the key. There are two books you may find helpful. One is A Thousand Names for Joy by Byron Katie. This book gives you a sense of what it is like on a daily basis to live without judgment. The other book is called The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz.
