No Good Deed Goes Unrewarded

Yes, you have heard cynics say just the opposite.  It's a matter of whether one sees the glass as half full or half empty, I believe.  Since we have a choice in how we look at things, why not choose what makes us happier?

I do think that all bets are off when we do things with an expectancy of reward, however.  Sometimes we get lucky, but usually we just set ourselves up for disappointment. It's when we do things from an open heart, without expectation of any type of reward, that the gift is returned to us, frequently, many times over.

Yesterday, the man who mows lawns in my neighborhood came to my door and asked if I had any work. It's been a cold winter, the grass and most shrubs are still dormant and I imagined he and his family are probably out of money by now.  I gave him $50 and asked him to do whatever he thought was fair in the front yard, and then I left to do errands.  (I did not really need anything, nor do I have $50 to give away.:-) 

As I drove off to do my errands, I briefly thought that I had been profligate. I recognized that as an "unhappy thought: and put it out of my mind. In the next few hours I was the happy witness to the kindness of people. I almost felt giddy with joy, and then came the icing on my cake:  The mail brought me a completely unexpected check for $53.

Control

How many times have you heard "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."?  Even if we call the horse "stupid" or worse, the horse will drink ONLY if he wants to.  

We may come to understand that the horse isn't thirsty, and that we cannot stop the rain.  There are actually a great many things that we learn to accept just as they are, but then there are all those other things we attempt to control over and over and over.  

Here is a wonderful quote from Abraham-Hicks:

"There is something so important for you to understand. And that is, you
cannot control the behaviors of others, not even one other. And if you are
trying to be a deliberate creator, by controlling the details of your life
experience, you're pretty much going out of your mind, aren't you?

Because they will not behave, they will not behave, they will not behave,
they will not behave, they will not behave. Because they were not born to
serve you. They were not born to serve you --now we know that's shocking...."

Our peace and happiness is in direct proportion to how much we give up attempts to control people and situations outside our control.

Approval

Acknowledging your own perfection is the first step towards approving of yourself. Everything that you do is perfect at the time you are doing it. You see its imperfection when your perspective changes and that is merely a shift that precedes a corresponding change in your reality. 

Instead of staying stuck in disapproval, your next step is to change your thinking to what you want to see reflected in your reality. You will experience the disapproval of others from time to time; do not let it stop you on your path. Acknowledge their judgment and criticism as an expression of their fear and move on.

Consider whose approval you seek or is important to you. Are you willing to make changes to who you are and what you do to obtain their approval? Can you see their fear and feel compassion for them? Are you willing to move forward despite others' lack of approval? The only approval that you need in your life is your own and when you approve of yourself, you will have people in your life who approve of you. 

(Jennifer Hoffman)

Approval Seeking

Seeking approval means asking others for their validation of who you are and what you are doing. If this is important to you then you will change what you do until you obtain others' approval and you will be more like them, conforming to their opinion of the type of person that you should be or what you should be doing.

When others do not approve of you, do you understand that it is because your knowing and presence are a threat to them? Someone who is critical and judgmental of you is acting out of fear. Once you can see their fear of you their judgment can no longer matter. How can you be afraid of someone who is afraid of you?

Because everything in the Universe is a mirror of everything else, if you are experiencing disapproval from someone you should examine the level of your self-approval. Are you satisfied with who you are and what you are doing? Are you self-judgmental and self-critical? Remember that everything in your reality starts with you, and you will see your own emotions, beliefs and opinions about yourself reflected in your reality. To gain others' approval, you must start by approving of yourself.

Did you notice all the "should's"?  We would do well to become conscious of all spoken as well as implied "should's".   

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I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself. ~Rita Mae Brown

You Can Free Yourself

There comes a time in our life when we feel that we must cut ourselves loose from the things that tie us down. The process by which we arrive at that point is different for everyone...It begins with the realization that we are repeating past behaviors or manifesting the results of old beliefs. 

These beliefs can be so deeply ingrained that it can be difficult for us to uncover them, as they have been part of who we are and what we do for a long time. Finally, the day comes when we have an awakening, a moment of clarity and we begin to see the pattern that exists, of how we try to move forward and never quite seem to get to our destination. Then we are ready to cut ourselves loose. 

The process of cutting loose does not have to be a drastic release of everyone and everything in our lives. Instead, we can realize that it is the combination of our beliefs and our emotional attachments to them, how they make us feel, that is what we must release. A belief that we are not worthy of having abundance, for example, will always make us feel that we never deserve what we have, even if we have millions. Cutting loose means recognizing those beliefs and ridding ourselves of them. 

We all have experiences that, under the right circumstances, can stand in the way of our dreams. Whether we allow them to do so is our choice. Everything in our lives is our choice and whether we can find the courage to stand in our power and realize that the only truth in our lives is that which we tell ourselves. 

This is our journey, our lifetime, and our spiritual path. Removing the things which tie us down can be as simple as acknowledging a prior belief and realizing that we no longer have to believe that any more.   (Jennifer Hoffman) 

Given enough introspection and motivation we can do this without help, especially if we are given to experiencing awakening moments.  The process is easier with the assistance of a trusted friend or life coach; and  especially with the help of a PSYCH-K facilitator.  PSYCH-K techniques identify and change subconscious beliefs which stand in our way. 

Making a Difference

Mini Vacation

We can't always take a vacation when we need it, but there are ways to get the same feeling a vacation brings. Here's are three tips for taking a mini-vacation right in your own home town. #1 -Go Outside - most of us spend 80% or more of our day indoors. When we travel on vacation we usually spend up to 80% of our waking hours outdoors. Fresh air and open spaces can have an immediate calming effect on you. Reconnect with nature no matter what the temperature. Go to a park, take a walk, seek out some water or a mountain, a wide-open spaces view. When you expand your line of sight, you expand you vision, both literally and figuratively. #2 - Try New Things - When you travel you are out of your element. The usual, routine and safe choices aren't there for you to fall back on. New places, restaurants, foods are exciting. you feel adventurous because, well, you are on an adventure. So right there in your hometown, go to a new restaurant, preferably with ethnic cuisine, and try something you have never had before. Pretend you are in New Zealand, or Paris or New York City. Drink in the new, slip a coaster or biz card into your bag for your journal. Try and pick out the other first-timers from the regulars. Take your time. Get dessert. #3 - Detach from Technology - Chances are, when you are vacation you do not watch TV, surf the net, check your email or talk on you cellphone. If you're really relaxing, you don't even have to look at your watch. You do everything when you feel like it. So for your mini-vacation at home, do just that - abstain from all technology. Totally. For 24 hrs. And don't be a slave to the clock. Get up when you feel like it. Eat when you feel like it. Do whatever you feel like doing. (No computer humming.) Enjoy the silence. Listen for the small, still voice. Read, write, make art. It's a mental vacation.