.Honesty is Best

When we speak the truth, we affirm what already is. This is like using a paddle when the stream is already moving the same direction, so we don’t need to exert much energy, leaving more for other pursuits.

But dishonesty redirects a portion of our energy against the flow, which requires extra effort. In addition, it creates an alternate reality that requires further energetic input to be maintained.

We may feel that little untruths are harmless, but they can be like small cracks that weaken an overall structure over time. Even giving someone a compliment or trying to protect them can create problems later when the alternate reality we’ve created becomes the basis for further actions. Even if the actions that follow are honestly done, the underlying unstable foundation of dishonesty will threaten to topple things eventually. This can lead to further energy being spent on keeping things hidden, working to remember the tales we’ve spun and fearing the consequences of being found out.

Speaking and living our truth may involve risking, among other things, the possibility of rejection. But when we allow ourselves to follow the flow of life, we are supported. We can then use our energy to cultivate physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being and to create our dreams, rather than leaving ourselves drained.
(Based on the Daily OM)

Finding Meaning

Many of us who don't have to struggle with meeting our most basic needs, seek to have a more meaningful life. We do more and more, thinking that we will find meaning in more accomplishments.

Connecting to nature grounds us, but doesn't leave us permanently satisfied. It is very hard to find meaning in one's life.

It is much easier to find meaning in one's actions! Why not take meaningful action? Help someone.
Help in any way that you can. No action is too small; start wherever you can. If your actions have meaning, then your life will as well.

Accepting Our Shadow

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength. (August Wilson)

I had trouble getting back to finishing the continuation I promised you. My mind has visited so many other ideas!!! It bored of "the shadow" very quickly. I have to either finish what I start in one "fell swoop" or very soon after I leave it.
This is another reason for procrastination: fascination with the "new". It's not a bad thing in itself, but what about if it leaves others who have been depending on the finished product, or whatever the finished "thing" may be, hanging?

And even when no one is waiting on us to complete a task, I believe it's a good thing to be accountable to oneself. Once I realized that this is an issue for me....an uncomfortable feeling washed over me. I wanted to make all kinds of excuses!

It was then that I realized that I could accept this about myself! With acceptance comes the bonus of not having to feel guilty. It's no longer a matter of I should be, but how I AM. I don't much like it, but all I have to do is accept it.....accept myself as being human.

Our shadow can only wield its power over us when we keep it in the dark. And instead of something to be denied, feared or rejected, the shadow has our most treasured gifts: the essence of who we are. When we bring light to the darkness, we find the fundamental parts of our true self buried inside. And as we explore this part of ourselves we most feared, we become free—free to experience the full range of our humanness, free to bask in our glorious totality, free to choose what we do in this world. Our shadow delivers us the blessing of our entire self.

When we make peace with our shadow, our lives transform. We no longer have to pretend to be someone we're not. We no longer have to prove we're good enough. We no longer have to live in fear. Instead, as we find the gifts of our shadow and revel in all the glory of our true self.

The Shadow

Our shadow, formed long ago, contains all the parts of ourselves that we have tried to hide or deny, the parts we believe are not acceptable to our family, friends and, most importantly, ourselves. It is made up of everything that annoys, horrifies or disgusts us about other people or about ourselves. It holds all that we try to hide from those we love and all that we don't want other people to think about us or find out about us. 

As the great Swiss psychologist C.G. Jung says, our shadow is the person we would rather not be.  From its invisible home deep within our psyche, the shadow wields enormous power over our life.

It determines what we can and cannot do, what we will be irresistibly drawn toward, and what we will do almost anything to avoid. It dictates our attractions and our repulsions and determines what we will love and what we will judge and criticize. Our shadow controls how much success we're entitled to create or how much failure we're doomed to experience. The shadow is an oracle that predicts all of our behaviors, driving the way we treat those around us—and how we treat ourselves.   ~~Debbie Ford~~

***

I think the main objective of most therapy is to teach the client acceptance of

his/her shadow side.  To suppress it takes a tremendous amount of energy, causes many difficulties, including physical illness, it is believed.  Whether one believes that illness results from stress, or that illness is "dis-ease"...a lack of 'ease',  i.e. a spiritual problem, the result is the same.    (To be continued)

We Are All Crew

“There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth.

 We are all crew.”

-Marshall McLuhan 

Take Responsibility for Your Life

“Wherever you are, be there totally.  If you find you’re here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options:  remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.  If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now.  Then accept the consequences.”  ~~~Eckhart Tolle~~~

Handling Personal "Disasters"

I think that some people are just more volatile than others.  If you are anything like me, you may have wondered about the reason for this.  I think that regardless of what we were born with, or even learned while growing up, we can change that which we don't want to keep, while substituting thoughts and behavior that we DO want for ourselves.

First, we need to get honest with ourselves.  Are we taking in a lot of caffeine?  Not sleeping well?  Too much sugar?  Junk food?  Medication effects or interaction?  I suggest that all these kinds of issues be addressed first.  And, though it sounds simplistic, the next step is to learn a new way of being....a new way of behaving, with or without assistance from a professional.


The payoff is big!  It is personal peace and improved relationships.



If you stop and think before you act, your life will be more in control—in your control. Whether you are facing an overbearing colleague or a delayed flight, keeping your cool and reacting thoughtfully can be your new M.O. Here are a few ways to tackle your next disaster:

Looking Glass

Self-awareness will improve clarity and help you see yourself. How do you really feel when a friend doesn't call you back? Instead of losing your cool or stuffing your feelings, take a look at the situation. You may find that it's not about you at all.

Self-Regulation

Do you think and speak negative thoughts? Then cut it out! Negative inner dialogue will get you nowhere. Try distracting yourself with positive thoughts about loved ones, a vacation spot or an enjoyable activity. Also, relaxation exercises such as deep breathing or meditating can help.

Communicate?

Open up and put your ideas on the table. Chances are others will find what you have to say engaging. In addition to speaking up more, listen to others as well. This will help you exchange ideas and points of view.

Be Proactive

Find and implement reasonable problem-solving solutions rather than sitting idly and stewing over a bad day. Define your problem, remember your goals and think about how to really get there. If you are always late for work, for example, then get up 10 minutes earlier.

The Art of Persuasion

People who rise to high places don't crack under pressure, they coolly think about the situation at hand. And they employ skills that work such as persuasiveness, conflict management and taking a leadership position.

Saying No

No one wants to be labeled a pushover, nor do they want to be confrontational. But how do you assert your needs without 1) collapsing into a pile of mush or 2) stepping on everyone's toes? There are ways to assert yourself in situations that don't suit you. You can say no by keeping it simple and including an explicit "no."

Empathize with Others

Everyone has a bad day. So be empathetic. This may help you reframe a person's bad behavior. And in the end, it's not about you.   ~~~Aysha Hussain, Psychology Today~~~